Mulletude Theorem and the Ultimate Mullet

If we can agree that as the length “in the back” of a mullet haircut grows, if the length “in the front” stays the same, the wearer has “more mullet”

AND

If we can agree that as the length “in the front” of a mullet haircut grows shorter, if the length “in the back” stays the same, the wearer has “more mullet”

THEN

Mulletude = Length of Hair in the Back Divided by Length of Hair in the Front

OR

M = Lhb / Lhf

IT ALSO FOLLOWS THAT

A person who is bald on top, with any length of hair in the back, possesses the Ultimate Mullet. Why? It is a division by zero problem – there is literally so much mullet, it cannot be computed.

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